Separating can really be a traumatic experience for everyone. To overcome the pain, it is important to accept the situation and let yourself go through each phase. If you now make a break, you want to read today’s article. One of the most traumatic situations that a person can endure is to break up. Numerous studies have shown how the brain behaves in different phases of disintegration.
According to their findings, we experience increased levels of stress and sometimes even physical pain. It will come as no surprise that breaking up has a major impact on our lives.
Why does breaking up have so much influence?
When we form a family, we create the most intimate kind of relationship there is. We convey values, habits and beliefs among the members of a family and build our identity. In our family we lay the foundation for our self-respect, our codes of conduct and the way we treat others. The family offers us a framework of physical and emotional security in the light of changes in life.
If we separate, this will affect us in very profound ways. Every member of the affected family will feel the floor sink beneath them. Every family member can experience the situation differently and every experience is valid. For example: Some people feel hopeless when they realize that they are unable to get what they had imagined.
Others interpret separating as a failure.
Low self-esteem is a common result. We can experience feelings of guilt and question many things in our lives. Sometimes a break gives us a new feeling of freedom. Yet we can very well experience symptoms of mourning because of the changes that occur in our family.
The different phases of separation
Psychologists agree that when a couple breaks up, people go through mourning. Mourning consists of different phases and, depending on the tools that each individual has, the different phases of separation can last longer or shorter.
Below we will take a closer look at the various phases of mourning.
Denial
As the name suggests, this phase consists of denying reality. Here we think things will get back to normal or even get better. The impact of breaking up is so strong that we feel the need to protect ourselves instead of accepting the facts. It is important to recognize this phase for what it is, to go through it and move on. It is also important not to get stuck in this phase or to condemn ourselves for these feelings.
Phases of separation: anger
After denial comes anger, anger projected on the other party. We go from not wanting to see reality to blaming our ex for everything that went wrong. Some individuals also blame themselves. It is common to experience a desire for revenge.
Negotiation
In this phase we try to understand the other side, we accept what has happened and we approach the other party. If we do not handle this phase correctly, we run the risk of believing in a possible reconciliation that will make things worse.
Phases of separation: Depression
Although it may not seem that way, the real work begins here. Here we understand that there is no way back, and the sorrow really begins . You can feel even worse than before. You finally understand that the relationship is over and sooner or later you can move on.
Acceptance
Little by little the sadness fades and the feeling that there is a future after this break, becomes more real. We regain our desire to live, to meet new people and even to get romantically involved with a new person.
Can leave behind some scars that break up
As you can see, breaking up has a huge effect on our mental, emotional and even physical health. This can have certain consequences: Depression: this is of course a natural part of the grieving process. However, many people remain stuck there and do not know how to get out of the cycle of grief. They isolate themselves more and more and then get into chronic depression .
Anxiety: the fear of an uncertain future can cause unrest, often with an inability to sleep. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): when fractures are violent in any way, they can lead to this type of disorder. This applies in particular in the case of abuse . Harvey Weinstein Accuser Testifies That Weinstein’s Behavior Toward Her Left Her ‘Shocked’. Low self-esteem: loss can make us feel hopeless and give us feelings of guilt. The loss of self-esteem is then only one step away. It is also undeniable that breaking up is a difficult situation. However, it is not an impossible situation, especially if we have the right tools and support. If you realize that you are experiencing one of these symptoms and stages of disintegration, contact a specialist who can help you get out of the impasse and rebuild your life.
Warren James is the lead editor for Diving Daily. Warren has written for many publications including the New York Daily News, Vanity Fair and Yahoo. Warren is based in New York city and covers issues affecting local communities. In addition to following the day-to-day life of the Big Apple, Warren also has a passion for martial arts.