There’s no way around it: planning a wedding is demanding. There’s so much to do, and it always seems like there’s not enough time to get everything done. When you’re planning the most important day of your life, you’re bound to feel stressed out, and you’re not alone: 96% of engaged couples say that wedding planning is hectic.
With wedding-related stress being such a big problem, you’ll probably be looking for some methods to reduce the pressure and give yourself a break. Well, you’re in luck. Here are some helpful ways you can take some of the chaos out of wedding planning.
Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff
It might be easier said than done, but one of the most effective ways to cut down on wedding anxiety is to try not to worry so much about the smaller details. Think about the big picture instead: you’re marrying the person you love. That should be more important than the colour of the flowers, the fabric of the serviettes or the intricacies of the seating chart.
Whenever you start to feel overwhelmed or panicky about the wedding, step back from the situation and take a deep breath. Ask yourself: how important is this issue? Chances are, not very. So instead of worrying yourself half to death, try to remember what it’s all about.
Give Yourself Plenty of Time…
A crucial mistake many couples make is not giving themselves enough time to get the planning done. Cut down on stress by alleviating some of the time pressure. Don’t set a date three months after you get engaged, because there simply won’t be enough time to get everything ready.
A good rule of thumb to bear in mind is that everything – yes, everything – will probably take longer than you think. People you’re relying on to finalize a decision might not answer the phone or email you back for a week or two, so work this into your timeframe.
…But Not Too Much!
On the other hand, you don’t want to give yourself too much time to plan, because in all likelihood, you’ll procrastinate and end up rushing anyway!
It’s also worth remembering that the further ahead you book a DJ, a cook or an officiant, the more time they have to pull out. Businesses go under and people quit jobs every day, and booking two or three years ahead of schedule is only giving a person or a company more time to flake out on you.
Most people get married 13 months after they get engaged, giving them a full year to plan and organize everything. This seems to be a good middle ground.
Write Out a Plan
One of the first things you should do when planning a wedding is to create a step-by-step plan of every single thing you’ll need to get done to organize your big day. Update your list as you go to keep on top of your tasks.
If you don’t know where to even begin, a quick search online will show you hundreds of how-to guides to help you create a to-do list, and you can easily find thorough wedding checklists that you can customize to suit your own plans.
Make a thorough list, broken down into time frames: 12 months before the wedding, 6–9 months before the wedding, 3–6 months before the wedding and so on. Alternatively, you could split your to-do list into categories: location, guest list, food and drinks, entertainment, accommodation, clothes, bridal party… the list goes on.
Find a strategy that works for you, then create your master plan and try to stick to it.
Delegate
Once you’ve got a clear plan of action, delegate tasks to friends and family. Work together with your spouse-to-be to figure out who you both trust with each job. You’ll obviously want to decide on the important things together, but for smaller decisions, there’s no shame in asking for help.
If you want to be involved in every decision of your wedding – it is your day, after all – you can ask friends to narrow things down for you. When it comes to choosing table decorations, for example, provide someone with a theme and your vague ideas, then ask them to come back to you with three or four choices. You can then pick your favorite and ask your friend to make the final booking.
Hire a Planner
Alternatively, if you don’t want to put the burden onto your loved ones, hire a wedding planner. Once they’ve got know you a little, they’ll provide you with choices and options and will do all the heavy lifting for you, meaning all you have to do is say yes or no.
If you do decide to hire a wedding planner, it’s a good idea to shop around. Make sure you find someone who will make the effort to get to know you and understand your vision. The last thing you’ll want is a pushy wedding planner who doesn’t listen to your wants and needs; this will only add to your stress!
Keep a ‘Done’ List
To-do lists are useful to help you get organized and stay organized, but they’re often overwhelmingly long and might actually add to your stress.
A good way to counter this is to keep a list of everything you’ve already done. Each time you book something for your big day or finish a task, add it to your done list. The list will get longer and longer as your to-do list starts to get shorter. Refer to it every time you feel your stress levels start to creep up so you can see exactly how much you’ve already achieved.
Track Your Budget
It’s all too easy to find out you’re going over budget when planning a wedding, so make sure you keep a thorough record of what you expect to spend on each element, and of everything you actually spend. You don’t want to get halfway through the planning process only to find out you’ve already run out of cash.
Try a budgeting app, or create a master spreadsheet (color coding optional but encouraged!) to tally up a running total.
Make it Your Own
A huge amount of wedding stress actually comes from trying to please other people – parents and in-laws are a major culprit here. It’s impossible to please everyone, so just don’t try too hard.
Sit down with your family and your partner’s family right at the beginning of the planning process. Tell them that you’d love for them to help and be involved, but everything really has to be up to you and your partner.
If you want to do something a little bit different, what’s stopping you? You can have a yacht wedding if you want, or you could elope to Vegas. Find any way you can to give the day plenty of personality, and don’t worry too much about what your guests or families want. It’s your day.
Find Ways to Manage Stress
As organized as you are, it’s inevitable that planning a wedding will involve periods of high stress. With that in mind, find some methods to deal with stress and keep your mental health a priority. Here are a few suggestions to help you.
Prioritize Sleep
Sleep is essential for reducing stress. A lack of sleep can lead to brain fog and lower energy levels, and can make emotions run high. Aim for eight hours of sleep every night, even if that means you don’t get around to a task on time. You can always finish it tomorrow.
Eat Well
If you’re planning a crash diet in the lead-up to your wedding, it’s time to rethink that decision. Not eating enough can hugely increase anxiety in the long and short terms, and it’s an incredibly unhealthy way to lose weight.
Eating a healthy and balanced diet with plenty of fruits, vegetables and protein will allow you to feel your best.
Get Some Exercise
Exercising is a great way to alleviate symptoms of stress or anxiety, as it releases endorphins that help you to feel better in body and mind. Anything that gets your heart beating quickly is a good idea, or you can try gentler exercise like yoga to help you destress.
Find Ways to Relax
Spend time doing things you enjoy and methods of relaxing. Whether you need to blow off some steam by going out for a drink with friends or you want to sink into a soothing bubble bath, it’s essential to take time for yourself and relax.
Go on a Date
In the lead-up to a wedding, it’s often surprisingly difficult to spend time with your spouse-to-be. A great way to feel calmer and less anxious is to make time for a date with your partner.
Plan an evening together and ban all wedding talk for the duration of the date. Otherwise, it will turn into just another planning session. By having fun with your partner, you’ll be able to blow off some steam and remind yourself about why you’re getting married in the first place: love!
Planning a wedding is never easy. Even the most relaxed people can find themselves overwhelmed and stressed out by the ins and outs of planning such an event. Reminding yourself of the important things and letting go of the smaller details will reduce stress to a minimum.
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